My Response to God’s Ability is What Counts!

 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. – Romans 5:5

Have you ever had someone make a huge impact on your life? I am sure we all have. However, has someone whom you’ve never even met had an amazing effect on your life? Someone has for me. She was an amazing Christian who truly had the touch of God on her life – Corrie Ten Boom.

In case you do not know who she is, Corrie Ten Boom helped hide the Jews in Holland during World War II. Her father, her sister Betsie, and her lived together and ran a watch repair shop. Every morning and night, her father would read to them from the Bible. Any guests were expected to take part, and most welcomed it.

When German soldiers moved into Holland, and Jews started to disappear to the concentration camps (arrested for no known reasons other than hatred), the Ten Booms got involved with the underground. Corrie’s minister brother, Willem, also was involved, as was her sister Nollie.

I recommend that you read the book The Hiding Place. It gives a detailed account of Corrie Ten Boom’s life and the underground. It is a book about faith. Not the meager faith that many of us practice, but it shows Biblical faith like Paul and Silas had, like Abraham and Moses . . . I’m telling you, you really need to read it!

Right now, I am reading Corrie, The Lives She Touched, an autobiography. It is amazing. It is truly humbling me. To be blunt, most of us have absolutely no idea what true faith is! Many of us haven’t even a clue what it means to be a servant of the Lord! She encourages me to want to do more and be more for the Lord!!

Sometimes, I think about my age and wonder: if I had just committed my life to the Lord while I was younger, would I have accomplished more for Him? Maybe. However, I think about how when all of this started happening to Corrie, she was in her forties. I’m not quite there yet. There is still time for me to really be used for God in a great way. I may never be Corrie Ten Boom, but I trust that the Lord has work for me to do if I’m willing!!

I think about her life. How would I have reacted being sent to an inhumane, unsanitary concentration camp in Germany? How would I have reacted to the flea infested rooms and the malnutrition? How would I have reacted to the abuse? How would I have felt staring death in the face, knowing that I would probably be the next placed in the incinerator? Would I have had Corrie’s sister Betsie’s attitude of finding the touch of God in everything? Would I have struggled a little at times like Corrie but always in the end coming out more faithful and stronger? Would I have crumpled to nothing and died there?

Would I have taken the chances that Corrie did sneaking around to barracks where she wasn’t supposed to be in order to encourage people in the Lord? Would I have trusted God’s protective hand when I was trying to smuggle the forbidden Bible into the camp? I really do not know for sure how I would have reacted. Miss Ten Boom says “when we are powerless to do a thing, it is a great joy that we can come and step inside the ability of Jesus.”

This woman is an encouragement to me as a godly saint! I pray that God will help me to develop the faith and trust she had. That He will show me how to be meek and humble, with a true servant’s heart, like she was! I truly can’t wait to meet her in heaven one day!!

Corrie Ten Boom lived from 1892 to 1983. I was about five years old when she went home to be with the Lord. I know that really doesn’t mean anything; just a cool fact that I came across.

In The Hiding Place, Corrie says, “This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.”  It is amazing how many lives even today she has touched and will touch. How true this statement is that she made.

Let me leave you with one more brilliant quote from Miss Corrie Ten Boom:

“It is not my ability, but my response to God’s ability, that counts.”

Subtle but Wonderful

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

As you know from my last post, I recently went on a missions trip to New York. I came out of that trip a completely different person. Now, you may be thinking, “She is awfully dramatic.” Call me what you want, but I am a changed person by the grace of God!

Here are some general ways that God changed me:

• He helped me overcome my fears.
• He helped me become more dependent upon Him and more trusting of Him.
• He helped me understand spiritual battles and spiritual warfare better. (Mission trips really spark spiritual attacks and wars in a Christian.)

• He helped me gain a stronger burden for lost souls.

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These changes were huge in my life, but I was more surprised at some of the more subtle changes that occurred. I admit that I didn’t realize I had experienced these changes until after the trip.

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One change I noticed may make you laugh. For quite awhile before the trip, I started having this strong desire for a husband. It could be because I know several people who have gotten married or are getting married (one being a close friend of mine). It could be because when you are in your thirties and single, everyone seems to think they have to make comments and try to “hook” you up. It could be because so many things are family oriented (that is a good thing). Either way, I became too focused on that aspect.

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The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:34

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Ever since New York, that desire for marriage has dissipated. Don’t get me wrong: if God brought a godly man my way, I would be grateful. However, I truly don’t care about that anymore. In fact, the idea of dating seems trivial right now. It would only serve as a distraction to the things I need to accomplish for God.

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All I can think about right now is serving the Lord. Is it because I am “super spiritual?” Not even close! It is because God planted that seed in my heart, and I am thankful He did! The only thing I care about is serving Him in every way I can! I mean that whole-heartedly! Anything that is a distraction to that does not need to be in my life. I realize I have a long road ahead of me with growing, maturing, learning, etc. I am not proclaiming perfection or anything close, so please do not misunderstand. The Lord has planted a seed of desire in me to live completely for Him. I have to be careful that other responsibilities, which God allows in my life, don’t get pushed under the rug because of it.

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Another change that God silently placed inside of me was a new perception of living a godly life. I always put the emphasis on how many were led to Christ. This is truly important, but it is not the primary goal. Before you freak out, let me explain. See, what’s important is that God’s name is glorified and exalted. That is our number one purpose. In order to do this, we testify of His goodness, His mercy, and His grace. We allow Him to work through us. If we, as Christians, do this daily, we will see many people saved. We will see revival. We will see great and mighty things as promised in Jeremiah 33:3. When Christ’s name is lifted up and glorified, everything else falls into place!!

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I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. – 1 Corinthians 3:6

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I also realized the importance of seed planting. The Lord did not use me to directly lead anyone to the Lord in New York. Sometimes, it is hard not to say, “How come he got to lead five people, and I didn’t get any? What’s wrong with me?” The problem with that thinking is that suddenly it is all about you when it’s not about you at all! Seed planting is as important as leading someone to Christ. I believe the statistics say the average person hears the gospel 7-9 times before they get saved; therefore, seed planting is super essential. When I think about how a few hundred people God gave the gospel to through me . . . it is truly overwhelming! He is so good!!!!

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So, I am a new person. I am so thankful for the Lord’s amazing power in that! I know there is a lot more change to come, and I have a choice: embrace it or fight it. I want to embrace it!!

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I praise God that I am a mold not completed yet. He’s still working on me! PTL!

🙂

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31

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Showing the Ropes in New York

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. – Jeremiah 33:3

 As we pulled out of the camp at about 5:15 a.m., the butterflies already began to flutter. We had a 16-hour drive ahead, so I knew it would be a long day! I tried not to show my nervousness because my close friend next to me was as scared, or moreso, than I was. I tried to make her laugh instead.

The anxiety didn’t start at that moment, however, but a week before. As much as I wanted to go on this trip, there was a major battle going on. I have struggled with fear my entire life, and this was surfacing a new level of fear. I had struggled with an eating disorder in the past, and it tried to resurface. I did experience some mild binges, but when I had thoughts of purging, God stopped me! I praise him for that!

When we arrived in the Big Apple, I was excited and terrified! My spirit and flesh were duking it out, and the war only intensified.

We slept on the floor in a church, and the next day, we headed out to sing at some Sunday morning services. It was a fun day. Sunday night, Pastor Matson announced that we would be doing ministry in the subways on Monday; we would leave at 7:30 a.m. Pure terror raced through my entire body. I wanted to throw up!

I went up to the third floor of the church and prayed with an intensity I don’t know that I ever had before. I found myself bawling my eyes out, telling God I wanted to do this, but I could not. I didn’t have the strength or courage. After pouring out my heart, a small still voice spoke inside of me. “You are right. You can’t. That is what I am here for – trust me!!” Jeremiah 33:3 came into my heart, and I suddenly realized if I clung to God, He would show me amazing things!

Monday came. I prayed myself up some more and knew I had to go for it. I had an amazing group, which helped! The first time I did it, there were probably about 20 people watching. I trembled. I was astounded because they listened. They did not have looks of ridicule or annoyance; they were paying attention! A few were truly engaged! One young boy was intensely listening. I was excited that my group leader led him to Christ right after!

Let me back up and explain what we were doing. We had three ropes that we used as tools to give the gospel. The ones I had were yellow, green, and red. They were tied in loops (the red with a slipknot0. The yellow represented God, the green represented man and sin, and the red represented Jesus. I showed how the yellow and green could not connect. I explained about sin and how we are all sinners. I connected the two with the red, and showed how Jesus connects us with God. (That is a nutshell. It was a 2-3 minute presentation.)

After Monday, I started loving it. Tuesday was even better! In the morning, I did the presentation 4 or 5 times, and handed out a lot of tracts. I was able to talk to a few people, but the train kept coming before I could do much follow up. Then, Tuesday night was memorable!

We were put in a busier station in the Bronx. My partner, JD, and I got into a groove and it was amazing!! We had people’s attention! I had many wonderful conversations. I almost was able to lead two young girls to the Lord, but when it was time to pray, they backed down.

Pastor Matson came to get us, and we begged to stay. He said we could for a little longer. JD and I went back to our end of the platform. Before we could start, three NYPD officers came and told us to follow them. We were led off the platform. The head guy told me to stand by the wall and get my ID out, and they took JD away from me. I thought I was going to jail! I prayed for peace, and God gave it. I did not feel at all worried; whatever happened would be God’s will!

A long story made short, I received a ticket for handing out tracts and spreading the gospel. He claimed it was illegal (it’s not!) and told me to leave. The head of the ministry took the ticket and made it disappear later. We went up a stop (by Yankee stadium) and preached and handed out tracts until our group came for us. It was amazing! People were requesting tracts after JD preached!

That night I was giddy from a spiritual high. I fell running up stairs and bruised my toe, and hyper extended my thumb (OUCH!).

By the end of the week, I did not want to leave! Thursday, I worked with PJ (yes, something about me with people who have initial names). We must have each done our presentation 10 times, and people were receptive. We had the timing of the trains down and fell into a groove. I wanted to keep going all day!

I remember now how much I love the fast pace of city life. I also realize a sea of souls needs to be reached. New York is an amazing mission field! I love to people watch and analyze, and it is a great place to do just that! I will never forget this trip and what God did!

We figured out that 50+ people were saved that we know of, and we probably gave out 1500-2000 tracts. God did an amazing work! We met many Christians who were encouraged by us being there as well. For me, to know God used me to give a few hundred people the gospel… it seems impossible!

The truth of Jeremiah 33:3 and Philippians 4:13 became more real than they ever have been!

I praise God for His Amazing power to do the impossible!!!!

WalkRight Gals

It is 3:10 a.m. as I sit here with the girls of WalkRight Baptist Bible Institute (forgive any typos). A girls night we have definitely enjoyed. God truly has blessed me with my friendships here, and I am thankful for that!

Let me first tell you about my wonderful roommates!

Kelsey – She’s our room leader and such a great blessing! On top of being a compassionate soul, she is one of a kind. She is fun and full of spirit. It is never dull when Kelsey is around. She also has been blessed with a beautiful singing voice.

Williesha – She keeps people smiling with her joyfulness and love for others. We spent many a’nights after lights out laughing and having a good time because of Williesha. She is unique and loved by all! She is a blessing to our dorm.

Bekah – My adopted little sister. What can I say? I am truly blessed by the friend she has been to me. She is sweet and has a compassion for others that is amazing. She also keeps us laughing all hours and brightens the cabin in many ways.

Barbra – She adds a Pennsylvania spice to our dorm. She has also became the official nail gal of the campus. She does an amazing job. She is also sweet and funny. She will also be missed as she is going home tomorrow.

I love my roommates!

Lisa – She lives in the dorm next door. Lisa is quiet but far from shy. She cares about people in a great way, and she is a good friend to us all.

Kenzie – She definitely holds a quiet countenance about her, but she also has a godliness about her. She is kind to all, and she always treats everyone with respect. She is a blessing.

Alicia S – Giggles is her nickname. She is so joyful that it bubbles over. I have seen leaps and bounds in her spiritual life since I met her back in January. It truly is a blessing to see what God is doing in her life!

Morgan – She can be all seriousness one moment and a jokester the next. She is a leader and has taught us all a lot. As a second year student, she will be leaving in May. She will be missed greatly!

Beka – Beka makes me laugh so hard sometimes I can’t stop. She is also a bubbly gal who loves to have a good time in the Lord. She has a sweet smile that is contagious.

Valerie – She has a sweet, quiet countenance that offers a peace to all those around. She reminds me of a pastor’s wife. She is smart, gentle, and firm in her beliefs. She gets married in August, and I am excited to see how God uses her.

Alicia G – She doesn’t always say a lot, but when she does, it is full of love and truth. She helps keep some of the students in line. I have enjoyed getting to know her a little better. She is a sweetheart who loves the Lord.

Sarah – She has captured my heart as my other adopted little sister. Sarah has a huge heart and desires to grow closer to the Lord. She makes me smile and laugh when we are together. I know I can trust her with things that are dear to my heart. If I had a little sister, I would want her. I find myself feeling very protective of her. She reminds me a lot of me a few years back, and I can’t wait to see what God has planned for her.

LeeAnn – She has a unique way of saying things, and she makes me laugh. She gets really hyper at times, and at other times, she wants to sleep. She welcomes all and has a godly spirit about her. It has been a blessing getting to know her.

Mya – She is a sweet gal who started in January like me. She has been a good friend always willing to give a kind word. She encourages others and tries to exhort them. She has a servant’s heart.

Abby – She was one of the first people to befriend me at WalkRight. She is goofy, loving, and full of life. She can always make me laugh. She also is an adopted little sister whom I cherish our friendship with all my heart!

Melissa – She makes me laugh. She tells the truth and never sugar coats, which is refreshing. I enjoy talking to her and getting her perspective on things. I am thankful for her!

Becky – She definitely is unique and fun. She makes me laugh. She adds character to the ladies dorms, and she is a good friend to all.

Courtney – She has a laugh that can be identified in a crowd of many. She loves to laugh and makes us all laugh. She wants to please the Lord and truly enjoys life. She’s a blessing and a good friend!

Christine – She is sweet, smart, and squeals when she is happy. We have a lot of fun together. She has a zeal for Christ and soul winning! I enjoy her friendship and laughing with her. She is another adopted sister. My family is growing, lol!

I love all the girls here at Walk Right. I praise God for bringing me here. I have made friends I hope to have for all eternity! 🙂

God lifts the darkness!

A while back, I wrote a blog about my depression. I marked it private, so only a few people read it. However, I want to show it to you in order to help you understand what God has done in my life! Through study of God’s Word and the Reformer’s Unanimous program, I was able to pull myself out of this repeated cycle of darkness. God truly is good! I haven’t had a problem with this in several months, and I know now what to do when I feel it coming on. As RU tells us, “Talk, Talk, Talk.” I am thankful for how far God has brought me. It was nothing of my doing; it was all and completely him!

Unto thee will I cry, O LORD my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit. – Psalm 28:1

Have you ever felt yourself spiraling in a free fall down through a dark tunnel? Nothing around you can be seen because it is blurred by the speed of your plunge? Have you ever felt as if your chest was being stomped on and the ability to breath felt impossible?

Anyone who has ever suffered from depression knows exactly what I mean: that feeling like you have lost complete control of your entire life; the “twilight zone” feeling of everything around you being surreal and untouchable; and the inability to grasp onto stable ground. All you want to do is cry, sleep, or be embraced by someone who loves you. Sometimes, you want to do all three at the same time. Sometimes, you want to cut off all communication with the world. You become despondent to the realities of life around you. Suddenly the things that brought you joy cannot even break a smile on your face.

The thing that puts a knife in my heart is the loss of focus and the inability to construe a prayer. I cannot handle the moments when as hard as I try, I cannot keep my mind focused as I read the Word of God. I will read the same chapter over five times and not get it. It creates a disrupted soul and a frustrated heart.

Depression cannot truly be explained in words, as many know who have struggled with it. We can try to voice it to others who have never experienced it, but they usually don’t get it. It is too powerful of a mechanism in our lives and runs way too deep to grasp the reality of it in explanation.

More often than not, there is not a specific trigger to this depression. The darkness that surrounds one who suffers comes at inopportune times and unknown times. Often, when some might expect to spiral into the abyss, they don’t. They find strength through the Lord. On the other hand, sometimes when things are okay in life, they suddenly plummet over the edge into the pit.

Depression constitutes a very real problem in someone’s life – trust me! It is not always someone having a pity party over a break-up or someone pouting because they didn’t get their way. Real depression stems from a stronghold that Satan built within. Once it is there, it is impossible to overcome without the Lord’s help.

I have spiraled into the abyss many times in my life, and I can honestly say it is the scariest place I have ever been. To feel that loss of hope, to feel that loss of emotional stability, to feel that loss of joy . . . . is a place I pray one day I will never have to return to. Once I start spiraling, it takes a steady hand to grab me by the scruff and pull me out. I cannot pull myself out if my life depended on it!

Imagine swimming in an ocean. You are having an amazing time! You feel a tug from the current below and suddenly you go under. You reach and stretch for the top of the waters. You body begins to panic, your breaths become short, your feet can’t seem to get footing, and your head sinks further down. That, in a simplistic nutshell, explains how depression feels when it arises. In order to survive it, a lifeguard must jump in to rescue the drowning. Praise the Lord for my lifeguard who saved me 16 years ago! Every time I feel like I can’t hold on any longer, He reaches in and grabs me!

It does bring some comfort that David suffered from depression himself. Read the Psalms, and you will see that! If a man who was after God’s own heart could struggle with this and get through okay, then I know I can get through it too.

The only lifeguard that can save us from drowning in this world is Jesus Christ, and I praise His holy name for the saving grace He gives every day and for not letting me drown in the despair of the world!

If you feel this way, I encourage you to check out your local Reformer’s Unanimous program. They show you how to use God’s Word as a weapon against the devil in this stronghold on your life. I don’t mean to sound like an infomercial, but it truly changed my life!

Praise the Lord for His grace, mercy, and unconditional love!!!

 

Perception is Key – My testimony

I want to share with you chapter one of a book that I may or may not write. I have stepped away for a while, awaiting for God’s leading. I truly want to move forward, but I am unable to do so without God’s leading. The market is the Reformer’s Unanimous program. It is very personal, but God has brought me through a lot! Keep in mind it is also just a draft!

Chapter One: Misperception versus Perception

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. – 1 Corinthians 13:12

He told me he loved me. He told me that nobody would ever love me like he did. He told me that he was sorry. To a lost soul, those words work more manipulation on the heart than any other. It didn’t matter that these words followed some verbal bashing, making me feel like I was the most worthless person that ever existed. It didn’t matter that it followed being slammed up against a wall or nearly choked to death. It didn’t matter if it followed a violation of intimacy. He loved me, right?

Sadly, many girls suffer through these terrible relationships as I did at the young age of 16 because they are searching for love. I did not know the Lord at that point, and I developed a twisted idea of what love was. It was not because I had unloving parents; my parents were wonderful. It was not because I had hateful siblings or had been picked on in school (I wasn’t). It was because I let the devil take the controls. I allowed Satan in the driver’s seat, which placed me in heavy bondage that I did not understand.

Perception played a huge part in this saga of my life. With the devil and his horrid demons running the show, they snuck in under the radar. They built a stronghold of shattered self-esteem and diminished self-worth. I am not saying one should feel highly of oneself, but when there is nothing existing at all in that department, something has to fill the void. Unfortunately, my warped sense of love filled it at that time.

One thing I do know, however, is that even as a lost sinner, I was not completely out of God’s care. As time went on, my boyfriend’s rage increased and worsened. His manipulation tangled its web around me in a suffocating way. I tried to walk away, and he threatened to kill himself. I bought into it. I was sixteen and emotional.

When I broke up with him several months after that, I still had the same friends as him. I wound up hanging out at his house. He kept telling me how much he loved me and missed me (although he had a new girlfriend). One day, he stole away a sacred thing that could not be replaced. I felt so alone and dirty; I fell into a dark depression. After the incident of violation, a few days later, an attack in the hallways of a public school (not a teacher in sight) took place. I had hit rock bottom. That is when God swept in with a strong wind!

I finally worked hard to break away from him. I fought the demon voices that told me I still loved him. How could I love such a monster? I would ask myself. How could I ever allow myself to go back? The sad part was that I had to fight it, and it wasn’t just an easy “I’m done.” I applied and received employment at a small grocery store where I met an unusual young man that changed my life.

I hoped my new job would clear away the ugly past. Nobody really knew, other than a couple of people, so I figured I should be able to forget it. I just needed to start new. How did one do that though? I wasn’t quite sure.

As I walked in, I felt a little sheepish. They informed me I would train with another teenager about my age, Steve Brown. He seemed nice enough, but I wondered how someone could be so happy. It wasn’t necessarily obnoxious, but it was weird.

Over the next few weeks, Steve showed me the ropes at Larry’s Foodland. One wouldn’t think that a bagger’s position would have so many details. Nevertheless, I caught on rather quickly. I actually enjoyed it, mostly because I worked with some fun people.

Steve began asking me about my beliefs and asked if I would come to church one day. He said his dad was the preacher. My first thoughts were I couldn’t. God probably wasn’t too happy with me after what happened. Besides, I believed in Jesus. What more was there?

After some time passed, and several invites, I finally accepted. It proved an entirely new experience. I had attended church with my aunt before, but it was nothing like this. What a huge place Parkview Baptist Church was. The wood, padded pews lined the auditorium, with the podium standing tall in front. KJV 1611 was imprinted on the podium, but I wasn’t sure what that was all about. The place looked like it could seat about 300 people. Their black, grand piano shone beautifully and sounded even lovelier.

Everyone was so friendly . . . well, except for Steve’s girlfriend. She did not seem too thrilled to have me there. I felt a bit intimidated by her. I tried not to get too close to her. I quickly became friends with her friend, though. I could tell Samantha and I would get along great. (Steve’s now wife and I laugh over that.)

Over the next few weeks, I visited several times. I loved that there were teenagers there my age who did not drink, did not smoke, did not get involved in immoral things, did not decide to use their dates as punching bags (verbally or physically), . . . It was a great change of pace!

One night, I stood there during what they called altar call. My heart raced energetically, concerning me a bit. I wondered if I was getting sick. I felt my shallow breathing falter and my chest tighten with so much pressure I thought it might explode. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. After the service ended, my body relaxed. I shrugged it off.

The next service I attended was Wednesday night, February 1, 1995. By the time the altar call came, the same feelings enveloped me. I could not figure out what was happening. As I pondered the experience, Pastor Brown’s voice rang in my ears. “Maybe you are here tonight, and you don’t know for sure you are on your way to heaven. You may be feeling the conviction of the Holy Ghost as we sing.” Conviction? I was confused. He went on to talk about the exact symptoms I was feeling, saying God could be trying to speak to us. He said something about salvation, another new word to me. Suddenly, without understanding or knowing what was happening, I darted to the altar. I sat there, unsure of what to do. A light tap on my shoulder caused me to look up.

Mrs. Brown opened her King James Bible and began to show me some scriptures. She showed me verses from the book of Romans and the book of John. She showed me where it said Jesus loved me (John 3:16). She showed me how we needed to repent (Romans 3:10 and 3:23). Repent? I had no idea what that was until that moment. She showed me how anyone could be saved who truly believed upon Christ (Romans 9:9-10, 13).

I finally bowed my head and told Jesus that I knew I was a sinner. I told him that I wanted him to come into my heart and save me from hell. I truly felt fear of that burning place for the first time ever. I asked Jesus to save me from going there. By the end of the prayer, my fear subsided. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew at that moment my life had changed.

No matter what happened before, I knew I didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t sure yet how I knew, but I knew. That day was the first day of the rest of my life!

This brings us back to the idea of perception. As a lost soul, my perception was one of a dirty, smeared, cracked lens that doesn’t help one’s sight but actually worsens it. I had no sense of logic and no sense of reason. It wasn’t until I accepted Christ as my Savior that my perception started to shift. The dirt was cleared away, the crack disappeared, and all the smears were polished clean. Although a struggle, and I did not fully understand it at that time, Jesus was (and still is) trying to show me HIS perception of things in this world.

We are no longer forced to look through smudges and cracks, nor prescriptions that are too weak for us. We do, however, need to make regular trips to the eye doctor in order to keep our sight 20/20. We need to let Him put the drops in when necessary, and we need to let Him mend any damage done along the way.

Maybe you are reading this book and don’t know for sure that you are saved and on your way to heaven. Maybe you are still looking through that distorted lens of the world. If you are, I urge you to get that settled today. It is not hard, but it is a leap of faith. It is a leap of faith that will lead to riches in heaven and life eternally with the King of kings and Lord of Lords!

All you have to do is say a prayer similar to this one, and mean it sincerely:

Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins and rose from the grave on the third day. I believe that you can save me from hell and from Satan. I do not deserve this grace, but Lord I will accept it! I praise you for loving us so much that you gave your life for us; please come into my heart and save me! Lord Jesus, I pray for this in your precious name, AMEN!

REAL Change is Good!

During the last presidential election, all I heard was “Change, change, change!” I didn’t hear too much about how things would change, but I sure heard it would. Regardless of the old jokes about Baptists, I really do embrace change when it is of God’s doing. Although the political changes didn’t crack up to what supporters of the now president “promised,” changes in my life have proven blessings from God!

The greatest change ever in my life was accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior! I lived a life of fear and depression until I was 16 years old. I allowed myself to get involved with the wrong person and landed in an abusive relationship. I hit rock bottom. God swooped down, and I got saved about a month and a half before my 17th birthday. Best change EVER!!!

Another great change was after I had backsliden from the Lord for many years. Once again, I was depressed and struggled with things like an eating disorder, a cigarette addiction, and a developing alcohol addiction. God pulled the rug out from under me; I hit rock bottom again. However, through that rocky ground, I found the top again – with Christ! I surrendered my pathetic life over to Him once more, and my life changed completely! This time, it stuck. My wicked life was finally dead! Next to salvation, that is the greatest change I have ever experienced!

Since I have been walking with the Lord again, I have experienced some other wonderful changes in my life. I started teaching (me, who was always scared to death of speaking in front of people) at a job that I had an incomplete application and no job interview. I started singing specials at church (me, who argued with the Lord, telling Him He was crazy to think I could do that). I left everything at 33 years old to go to the WalkRight Baptist Bible Institute on complete faith (and no money), and God has spoken to me in ways I never dreamed He would. To some, these changes may seem miniscule, but to me, they are huge!

I know my future shall hold many other wonderful changes (should Jesus choose to tarry) such as work in full-time ministry and possibly a godly husband to serve with. I look forward to what He has to offer!

My God is good! If you want to experience wonderful changes in your life, it is easy! Trust the Lord as your personal Saviour! If you are saved, trust Him as Lord over your life! I promise you, you will experience changes that are amazing!

If you want to know more, comment or email me at riseup0201@gmail.com. 🙂

Revive us again!

I can’t believe how long it has been since I have blogged. Things have been really busy.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. – James 5:16

Over the past two months, God has taken my life and shaken it up. He has taken my comfort zone and erased it. He has made me stand up in front of my fears and convictions. Oh, and in case you are wondering, these are all good things!

If there was ever any doubt that I belonged at the WalkRight Baptist Bible Institute, it no longer exists. The Lord has made it very clear that this is exactly where He wants me! I love it there – snow and all! Actually, the woods look beautiful with the winter blanket shed upon it! I don’t have to drive in it, so it is all good!

The greatest thing so far has been the week of revival we just saw. Many of us have been to various revival meetings before, but this was different. God moved into our lives in a way I never would have expected! Although it truly is beyond words, let me tell you what I can.

The week’s sessions were taught by Evangelist Harold Vaughn and Pastor Bob Hassel. They gave us some information about past revivals but they focused more on preparing for a revival now. They stressed that no church will ever see a revival if the members are not prepared individually. You cannot see revival if sin exists in someone’s heart.

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. – 2 Chronicles 7:14

One of the first things that they had us do was the Sweet Hour of Prayer. This is where you go off by yourself for at least an hour. There is a brochure made up to show how to get started. First, you praise God and read some Scriptures. This is followed by confession of sin. There is a long list of questions to prompt you, and it is amazing when you get going what comes to your heart about your life! The last part is prayer requests. It is a freeing and refreshing experience!

The second day we did what is called Three Round prayer, also acronymed CPR (fittingly, I must say!). This was the most intense prayer session I have ever been in! We split up into groups (boys with boys, girls with girls). We set up a circle of chairs facing out to kneel at. The leader starts the prayer by praying and announcing the first round, confession. Everyone now has opportunity to confess sin in their lives. It is to be short statements, and everyone can go as often as necessary. Often things are said like “Lord, forgive me for my pride.” Sometimes, “Lord, forgive me for feeling anger towards my family.” As the Holy Spirit steps in, the hearts purges itself in ways unimaginable.

When the leader feels that all has been dealt with in confession, he or she announces the second round – praise. This is handled the same way as the first round but with praise. Often, this one could go on forever, and the leader has to cut off the round.

The last round is request. This is where prayer requests are prayed in the same format as the first two rounds. Again, the leader waits to sense the end of this session and then closes the prayer time.

Our group prayed for about one hour and thirty minutes, as did the other groups, I believe. It was refreshing, freeing, and invigorating. I actually felt light headed and tired after the fact….but at complete peace! The student body has grown so much closer over the realm of that week, and tensions that existed before seem to have dissipated!

If we allow ourselves to open up and let God in, nothing short of amazing will happen! I cannot wait to return from spring break and do another round of CPR. I cannot even imagine what God can truly do on our campus if we let Him! I am sincerely excited to see where He will lead!

I Have Been Blessed

This song describes it perfectly! It was written by Mike Compton.

When He moves among us all that He does
all of His mercy and all of His love
if the pen of the writer could write everyday
even this world could never contain
how I’ve been blessed

The warmth in winter the flowers in spring
the laughter of summer and the changing of leaves
the food on my table a good place to sleep
clothes on my back and shoes on my feet
I have been blessed

I have been blessed God’s so good to me
precious are His thoughts of you and me
no way I could count them there’s not enough time
so I’ll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed

Arms that will raise a voice that can talk
hands that can touch and legs that can walk
ears that can listen eyes that can see
I’ve got to praise Him as long as I breathe
I have been blessed

A father and mother who nurtured and raised
sisters and brothers, memories made
our pastor to lead us, this altar to pray
stripes that can heal, the blood that still saves
I have been blessed

I have been blessed God’s so good to me
precious are His thoughts of you and me
no way I could count them there’s not enough time
so I’ll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed

We live in a country the greatest on earth
our flag stands for freedom and what it is worth
she stands in the harbor Miss Liberty calls
all gave some but some gave it all
so we could be blessed

He’s my shoulder to lean on when I am down
the rock where He leads me when I’m overwhelmed
the place where He hides me under His wings
He’s not just a song He’s the reason I sing!

I have been blessed God’s so good to me
precious are His thoughts of you and me
no way I could count them there’s not enough time
so I’ll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed!!

God has been good so good
I have been blessed!!

Fish and Bread…..

Revised from an old Christmas letter I wrote……

John 6:9-13

⁹There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?

 ¹⁰And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand.

 ¹¹And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would.

 ¹²When they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost.

 ¹³Therefore they gathered them together, and filled twelve baskets with the fragments of the five barley loaves, which remained over and above unto them that had eaten.

Because the Gospel of John is my favorite gospel, I have read it many times. About a year ago, I came across a very familiar account for most of us – Jesus fed 5,000+ people with two meager little fish and five tiny loaves of bread. I have always loved this story because it reminds me that God works miracles. When we walk with him in faith, we never need to fear coming short of the necessities in life. However, when I read it this particular time, something new hit me. We are the fish and bread.

Take my life, for example. From the outside, it looks pretty meager and pathetic. I don’t really have anything of worth, and I am not one that stands out in a crowd (most of you know I don’t want to). But God desires to use me the way he did with the 5,000. He wants to use me for His glory and honor. He wants to use you too! He can spread us out to feed the entire world with the gospel of Christ. He can truly bless if we allow him to!

“Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” – Mark 16:15

Maybe you are reading this and do not know for sure that you are on your way to heaven. You can get that settled right now. There are no fancy tricks, and there are no voodoo magic spells. All you have to do is accept that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. You merely need to trust in his death, burial, and resurrection. You only need to confess you are a sinner and ask him to come into your life. If you do this sincerely, you will be saved from the fiery pits of hell.

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God . . . that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” Romans 3:23, 10:9

The Lord Jesus Christ waits patiently to hear your prayer. He desires to hear your prayer, and when it is finally said, He and the angels rejoice in the heavens above! God wants to save you – all you have to do is ask!!

“Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.” – Luke 15:10

Sometimes, I think that salvation is so easy that it makes it hard. Our nature is to believe that nothing comes easy; our society breeds us that way.  That is just one of the many lies that Satan uses to keep us doubting and questioning. No work will ever get you to heaven – no matter how grand. No religion will save you. It doesn’t matter if you are Methodist, Baptist, Catholic, or Muslim. It doesn’t matter if you are an Atheist, Jehovah Witness, or Non-Denominational. There is only ONE true way to heaven! It is accessible to all mankind, regardless of who you are or what you have done – through the blood of Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us,

“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” – Romans 10:13

What will you do? If you aren’t saved, will you trust on the Holy, Perfect Jesus who died on the cross for you? Will you believe in the redeeming power of His blood? Will you turn a deaf ear?

If you are a born-again Christian, will you allow God to use you as the bread and fish? Will you be like the disciples and try to figure things out on your own?

Trust in the Lord and you will be blessed beyond measure!

“Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” – Jeremiah 33:3